nosdrinker:

my english teacher accused me of plagiarizing an essay i wrote about my own life

(via 66-seals-of-fuck-you)

377,577 notes Reblog

I’m in a dilemma, and I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend has four friends that all want to rent a limo and go out to eat tomorrow for dinner. My boyfriend and I had made plans to hangout and make the day just about us and nobody else. That was before these friends asked if we wanted to join them. I only know one of these guys, and I’m not super fond of him. I have this feeling I won’t really like the other guys either. But my boyfriend seems to really want to go. Ugh.

sernacht:

So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?

"Do not come any closer"

(via motp)

44,806 notes Reblog

(via miserable-at-besttttt)

5,055 notes Reblog

(Source: aweeawnuh, via motp)

610,494 notes Reblog

Orange is The New Black

Season 1: I fucking hate Pornstache
Season 2: Pornstache isn't that bad. I fucking hate Vee
8,408 notes Reblog

(Source: orangeitnblack)

56,590 notes Reblog

toastedtoffee:

How true, wisdom from a 5 year old

toastedtoffee:

How true, wisdom from a 5 year old

(via joshpeck)

51,155 notes Reblog

masterofallvillainy:

Technically speaking there is a lot of food in this house. However, none of it is sweet and none of it is microwaveable. Therefore, there is no food in this house.

(via meganimefreakx3)

439,407 notes Reblog

[x] & [x]

(Source: itsokaysammy, via deanspanties)

12,602 notes Reblog

beauxbatons:

when im dead sext me through a ouija board

(via departured)

465,276 notes Reblog

flums:

If u think someone (me) is cute you should tell them (me)

(Source: uqqu, via smokingjointswithmileycyrus)

276,749 notes Reblog

Me most of the year: Want that. Want that. Want that.
Me near my birthday & Christmas: I CANNOT THINK OF A SINGLE THING I WANT.
474,104 notes Reblog

wallflo-er:

tbh i just need a hug

(via deducingwitchofgallifrey)

63,129 notes Reblog